The Rabbit Hole
by Lindelynia
Summary: AU of he 2007 movie in which Raph stabs Leo on the rooftop and Leo doesn't make it... But then Raph finds himself given a second chance to fix things. The problem with changing the course of time is that it changes EVERYTHING, and so everything becomes unpredictable. Did he really save his brother or did he just make things worse?
1. In the Darkness

_A/N: Hello! I'm back with my second story. :D I saw a writing prompt somewhere that said something like, "If you found a portal that would take you back to your biggest mistake and allow you to fix it, would you go?" and so BAM! A story was born. I immediately thought Raph and Leo (probs because their relationship is my favorite) and realized that Raph hadn't made a big enough mistake to need a magic portal yet... So, I wrote an AU! :D Mwahahahaha..._

_Ahem... Anyways_

_There is TEMPORARY character death, a little bit of language, mentions of blood and violence, etc. So, yeah. You've done been warned._

_Also, I do not own them. Their lives would be a lot more interesting if I did, though._

_Please read and review! :D_

_TBC_

_-Haley_

* * *

><p><em>"Don't do this, Raph."<em>

_"I'm done takin' orders."_

* * *

><p>In reality, the fight couldn't have lasted more than two minutes.<p>

It felt like forever.

Every move and counter move was like a dance, each participant swapping positions of power as the fight went on-each trying to outdo the other. Yet within the first 30 seconds, there was a long pause. It was a pause in which both parties realized that this brawl could be going nowhere. These brothers were equals, trained under the same master for the same amount of years. Their strengths were unmatched by anyone's but each other's. Still, there was one difference between the two that would make for a critical turning point when all was said and done.

Raphael was very, _very_ angry.

Even as younger charged at older, and then older at younger, Raph knew he was going to have to do better if he was going to take his brother down. Leonardo suddenly seemed to be on top of his game, moving so quickly that Raph barely had enough time to defend himself. It was when Leo had the gall to almost slice his katana through his younger brother's head that Raph lost it. It wasn't that Leonardo was _trying_ to hurt his brother; Raph knew that. No, see, to Raph, it was just another way that Leo was rubbing in his face how much better he was. And _that_ pissed Raphael off.

The pair found themselves at yet another standstill: Leonardo's blades were caught between the prongs of Raph's sai, and for the longest time, they just slowly circled each other, neither willing to give up their hold. The longer the brothers stood there, and the longer they glared into each other's eyes, the more Raphael felt his hatred for Leo growing.

_"Hot head."_

_"...like some vigilante showboat..."_

_"YOU. AREN'T. READY."_

_"What were you thinking?"_

_"I'm better than you."_

_I'm better than you._

_I'm._

_Better._

_Than._

_You._

SNAP.

Raph was seeing red. He didn't register that Leo's katana were now broken in half; didn't notice the shock in his big brother's eyes. Raph didn't hear or see anything, and he definitely didn't think. He just... _Did._

That is, until a painful cry broke through all the fury.

Once the crimson cloud faded from his vision, Raphael realized he was on top of Leo... _How did _that_ happen? _There were Leo's broken swords, lying off to the side. But something was... Off.

Something was _wrong._

It was then that he heard the sound of Leonardo's broken breathing. He focused on his brother and numbly realized that his own sai was sticking out of Leo's upper chest, right in between his heart and his shoulder. Did _he_ do that?

_Well, who else woulda done it, ya numbskull?_

Raph suddenly felt the numbness fading and being replaced by sheer terror. This was something out of a nightmare-no, it was worse than that. There were no words, no... _Anything_ for how _horrifying_ this was. "Oh, God," he moaned._  
><em>

Raphael may have just killed his big brother.

* * *

><p>"Hang on, Buddy. I'm gonna getcha home and Donny and April will patch ya up. Just hang in there, Leo, <em>please<em>..."

Trekking through the sewers with your older brother on your back was no easy task, as it turned out; even if you _were_ the strongest turtle in the family. It probably didn't help that Raph was still in his Night Watcher gear. His muscles were screaming out at him, begging him to stop and rest for a bit, but he couldn't. Not yet.

Although, if his legs gave out from under him (like they had almost done about 5 or 6 times now), he wouldn't have much of a choice.

Over the sound of his own heavy breathing, grunts of frustration, and pleas for Leonardo to just _hang on_, Raphael almost missed the sound of his big brother's way-too-quiet voice saying, "Raph, stop."

"No. I can't."

Just the slightest bit of authority came back to Leo's voice. "I've already lost too much blood and if you keep moving me, I'm just gonna go quicker. Raph, put me down."

Growling loudly in the face of defeat and exhaustion, Raphael dropped his brother and fell down right beside him. He heard Leo groan in pain and so he scuffled over to help Leo move so that his shell could lean against the sewer wall and he could sit up comfortably. _Well, as comfortably as possible when there was a gaping hole in your chest._ Raph felt sick at the thought.

Upon closer inspection, Raphael saw that Leonardo was right. His brother was a lot paler than he had been on the roof top and his eyes were losing life by the second. Now, Raph was no doctor, but he had a gut feeling that Leo didn't have much time left.

Raph pulled out his shell cell to call Donny. He wasn't to keen on revealing his identity as the Night Watcher, or on letting the others know that he'd stabbed their oldest brother, but Leo needed help and he needed it _now. _He'd accept whatever punishment came his way as long as Leonardo was okay.

That's why he was so shocked when a heavy green hand fell on the shell cell and pushed it down gently. Raph looked at Leo's face and saw something he'd never really wanted to see: resignation. Leo knew he was going to die. It made Raph angry. "The hell are you doin'?" He whispered harshly. Leo just shook his head.

"Th-there's not enough time," Leo gasped. "We're still a few miles from home, and I think I have a minute-two, at most, before-"

"Don't say it," Raph warned, desperately trying again to dial Don's number. He'd meant for it to come out all menacingly, or something, but instead it came out sounding strangled, like a choked sob. He silently cursed himself for it, but the fact was that he was more angry at himself for what he did than anything else. He knew good and well this wasn't Leo's fault.

He cursed aloud this time as the tears clouding his vision made it hard to see the tiny screen.

"Raph," Leo whispered. "R-Raph, l-look at me."

Slowly, reluctantly, Raphael raised his gaze to meet Leonardo's and allowed the arm holding the shell cell to fall limply to his side. Raph suddenly realized how badly his own eyes stung; how hard his shoulders and arms were trembling; how wet his mask was as it clung to his face. It was embarrassing, but he was too scared and angry to care. Leo's mouth twisted into a grimace as he clumsily clapped a hand on Raph's shoulder. Raph blinked in surprise, but listened intently as Leo opened his mouth to say something.

"I... I'm sorry, Raphael." Leonardo's eyes began tearing up a bit too, but Raphael said nothing. Instead, he heavily placed his own hand on top of Leo's, probably squeezing Leo's wrist _much_ too tightly, but Raph figured that was the least of their concerns right now.

"I have...f-failed you both as a leader and a b-brother," Leo continued. "I let my pride b-blind me to what was r-right in front of me, and... If I could d-do everything over again, I..."

"I know," Raph interrupted as Leo suddenly broke into a fit of coughing. There was so much Raphael wanted to say-NEEDED to say-but he couldn't think of any of it right now. He was just... Trapped in a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. "I know."

Once Leo's coughs subsided, he brought his other hand down from his mouth to reveal that he had been coughing up blood. Raph's stomach dropped. It wouldn't be long now. From the look on Leonardo's face, he knew it, too.

"Leo, I... I..."

"You don't need to s-say anything," Leo whispered. He was getting weaker by the second. "I... F-forgave you already... On the roof."

Raph froze.

Leo always had a way of knowing things about his brothers that he probably shouldn't. He knew where they hid things that they weren't supposed to have. He knew what they were thinking before they had a chance to say it.

Who would do that for them after tonight?

Wait... Raph was the oldest now, which put him in leadership position. But how could he be leader after murdering his own brother in cold blood? What was he supposed to tell his family? They would never forgive him, much less allow him to be leader. Hell, he'd never be able to forgive himself.

"Leo, I can't go home," he confessed brokenly. "The others, they'll... They'll _hate_ me for what I did to ya." Leo just shook his head.

"Th-they're going to _need you, _Raphael. They can't lose t-two brothers at once."

Raphael was sobbing now in anger and self-hatred. This whole thing was so messed up. It wasn't supposed to be like this. None of this was supposed to happen.

Raph felt a gentle finger under his chin, lifting his gaze again to meet Leonardo's. This time, though, the look in his brother's eye was fierce, almost like he was his normal self... Almost.

"You h-have to go home and t-take responsibility for your actions," Leo warned sternly. "Promise me."

After a long moment, Raphael nodded. "Yeah, Leo... I promise."

Leo nodded before his body shuddered violently and the fire in his eyes dulled. Raph panicked, watching his brother go all too still. He gave Leo a shake. "Leo?"

Nothing.

_No no no no no no no._ "Leo. Leo! Wake up, bro, open your eyes. C'mon, you gotta wake up, Leo, please don't _do _this..."

It was no use. "Leo?!" No matter how many times Raphael called for Leo, no matter how hard he shook him, and no matter how loud he yelled, Leonardo was never going to wake up again.

No more pain-in-the-ass big brother to boss him around. No more late night/early morning talks after a long run. No more sparring, no more arguing, no more laughing, no more hovering...

No more Leo.

The realizations kept flying at Raph like arrows that struck him right in the heart, and so he did something he probably hadn't done in years. He gathered his big brother up in his arms, buried his face in Leo's shoulder, squeezed him as tight as he could, and then...

Raph screamed.


	2. There is a Light

_A/N: I'm back! Quick update, eh? I'm not promising that ALL of the chapters will come up this quickly... But I already knew where we were going and figured I'd just go ahead and type it up to get it over with._

_Sorry for all the sadness and stuff. :( It'll get happier soon. I promise!...maybe..._

_As usual, read, review... Let me know what you'd like to see and what I can work on. :) Appreciate it, guys! And thanks for allllll the favorites/follows/reviews I got from the last chapter!_

_Enjoy!_

_-Haley_

* * *

><p>Raphael wasn't sure how long he sat there with his brother's corpse; probably a lot longer than he should have. The stench of rotting flesh was already in the air, and Raph knew it probably wouldn't be long before Donatello and Michelangelo came looking for them. By this point, he had stopped holding onto Leonardo, instead moving to sit against the wall on the opposite side of the tunnel. From this position, Raph could just... Watch him. He might have even been able to pretend that Leo wasn't dead, but asleep. It probably would have been more believable, though, if Leo's chest wasn't covered in blood.<p>

There was a beeping and a vibration from somewhere in his Night Watcher suit. Tiredly, he reached inside one of the compartments and pulled out his shell cell. Sure enough, there was a group text from Donatello that simply read, "You guys ok?" It was only sent to Leo and Raph (_Leo, who wouldn't be able to respond,_ Raph thought with a pang in his chest), which meant that Mikey was with Don. Raphael frowned and lowered his phone onto his lap as he weighed his options.

On the one hand, Raph had promised Leo that he would take responsibility for what he'd done. But did he have to go home to do that? He could just wait for Mike and Don to arrive. They'd see what happened and he could get it over with right then and there.

But then what?

Raph hardly thought that he would be forgiven for killing his brother. He _definitely_ couldn't go home and face Splinter... God, this was going to _kill_ him. But what choices did he have? Was he going to run away? Raphael was no coward, but Sensei would probably kick him out, anyway. Where would he go? The city was his home. He could never leave...

...but what if...

Minutes passed in silence before Raphael finally made his decision. Resolve in his features, Raph picked up the phone and typed, "S.O.S." before hitting send. Not even a full minute later, there was another beep from Donny and a text that said, "What happened?" Raph knew that Don was probably already on his way and was just asking to check his "level of consciousness" or whatever. He was sure Donnie saw on his computer that he and Leo were together, which usually would have meant that they were _both_ hurt from a fight with the foot, but... Raph knew better.

Raph's fingers shook as he slowly typed his next message. Donnie may not even believe what Raph was about to tell him, but... He still had to tell him.

"I killed Leo."

...

_Send._

Raph let his phone drop to the ground with a soft _clack_ before standing. Slowly, tiredly, yet deliberately, he removed his Night Watcher suit so that he was in his normal turtle gear. He realized as he was setting his things in a pile that he had left his helmet on the roof. Not that he really cared. Once everything was neatly arranged, he picked up his sai and knelt down in front of Leo. Raph reached out and cupped his brother's cold face, stroking Leo's cheek with his thumb in a such a rare display of affection that it took Leonardo being dead for him to be able to do it.

"I'm sorry, Leo," he whispered. "I'm gonna make this right. I promise." Then he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Leo's forehead.

Raph waited for a while, making sure that this is was what he really wanted to do, before deciding that it was. This way, his brother's death would be avenged, Raph would get the punishment he deserved... And maybe his family would be able to forgive him.

He was just pulling away when he saw headlights approaching. _Shit. Don and Mike are here._ Resting back on his heels, he stroked the blades of his sai for just a moment.

_Doors opening and closing._

"Raph?"

Then Raph lifted it, pointed it at himself...

"Raph!"

"Raphie! Don't!"

...and drove it through his own heart.

* * *

><p>...<p>

...

...

* * *

><p>Darkness. Everything was darkness.<p>

And silent.

So very quiet.

"Oh, Raphael, what a terrible mistake you have made."

"Who's there?!"

* * *

><p>...<p>

...

...

* * *

><p>"Your race is few, and yet you're so willing to just throw your existence away because of one mistake? Fortunately, the powers above have decided to give you a second chance.<p>

As I said, your race is few, but there is still so much for you to do. However, your brothers, Donatello and Michelangelo, cannot do it alone. They will fall apart without you, and so the world will fall into chaos. You are the only ones who can stop the coming war.

Therefore, we are going to send you back to the point that everything went downhill between you and your brother, Leonardo. The two of you will be the only ones to remember the events that took place tonight.

This is your only chance to do things right.

If you die, you will remain dead.

The same goes for all of your brothers.

Do you understand?"

* * *

><p>...<p>

...

...

* * *

><p>"Yeah, I got it."<p>

* * *

><p>...<p>

...

...

* * *

><p>"Then walk towards the light, and when you're ready, step through.<p>

Good luck, Raphael."

* * *

><p>...<p>

...

...

* * *

><p>He waited...<p>

Waited...

Waited...

...

And then everything was bright again.


	3. Though it is Dim

_A/N: Greetings fanfictionlings! _

_I'm doing pretty good on these updates! I mean, I've had nothing better to do than write, 'cause I have no life... But you get another chapter out of the deal! So yay! :D It may be a bit shorter than the last two. I'm not sure. It's long enough to get the point across, though._

_I'm trying to get as much as I can written now, because this weekend is my best friend's birthday, and things are going to get pretty crazy... If you know what I mean. ;)_

_Now we're going to start following the story line of the movie, keeping in mind that Raph and Leo have been through it all once before. So this will get interesting!_

_Thank you ALL for the encouraging words! And thank you to those who also help me know what to clarify and focus on explaining more later on. It's all very appreciated!_

_As always, please read, review, criticize... Etc. And if there's something you would like to see happen, I'm totally open to suggestions!_

_Enjoy!_

_-Haley_

* * *

><p><em>"Raphael!<em>

_Your brother is home."_

* * *

><p>Talk about déjà vu.<p>

Raphael reluctantly opened the door to Splinter's room and glanced around in amazement. _I don't believe it. It actually worked?_ Splinter was beaming at him expectantly. Raph remembered this. Leo had just come home from Central America, and...

Leo...

Raph was almost scared to look, but there, standing in the middle of the room, was a perfectly healthy version of the brother that Raphael held in his arms as said brother died in the sewer tunnels. He slowly allowed his gaze to crawl upward until he could see Leonardo's face. Leo looked just as confused as Raph was sure he did. He almost flinched when Leo made eye contact, the intensity of his big brother's glare honestly frightening him right down to the core.

That's when he knew that Leonardo remembered _everything._

Several long, awkward moments passed before Splinter cleared his throat. He raised an eyebrow at his two sons. "Oh, h-hey," Raph spluttered. He felt the heat rush into his face in embarrassment. _Way to not sound stupid._

"Hey." Leo's "greeting" was very terse, which didn't exactly help the situation. Raph felt like a bug squirming under a magnifying glass.

_Crap. How did I get outta this last time?_

_Oh, right. Fake tired._

Raphael yawned and stretched. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed... So..." With that, he turned and strode quickly out of the room and towards the stairs. He didn't bother waking up Donnie and Mikey, who were passed out on the couch, to let them know that Leo had returned as he had done the first time. They'd figure it out later. He just needed to get to his room and be alone for a while.

Or forever.

Unfortunately, Leo didn't seem to agree with that idea. Even as Raph started up the staircase, he knew Leo was on his heels. "Raph," Leo called sternly. Raph just kept moving, refusing to stop until he came to his bedroom door. Leo followed him the whole way. "Raphael."

"Yeah, what?" Raph turned and glared, already genuinely annoyed. Leo blinked but didn't falter.

"What do you remember?" Leo asked pointedly but quietly, as if he didn't want anyone else to hear. Raph weighed his options for a moment before shaking his head and turning the knob on his door. "I dunno what you're talkin about." He was hoping that Leo would take the hint, maybe even assume that Raph really _didn't_ know what happened, but Leo was smarter than that. Which sucked.

Raph disappeared into his room, but Leo was right behind him.

Again.

"Raph, answer me," he ordered. Raph hated it when Leo told him what to do. It made his skin itch. He remained quiet and just went about moving things around so that he had room on his hammock to sleep. _Please take the hint, please take a damn hint for once-_ "Raph!"

"Whaddya want from me? Huh?" Raph growled, turning so swiftly that Leo involuntarily took a step back. The oldest stared, but said nothing. "You want me to tell you I remember the fight on the roof? Or how about the part where I stabbed ya in the chest?" Raph stopped short, shocking even himself at the crudeness of his own words. Leo's gaze faltered as he broke eye contact and swallowed. That was all he needed to hear. Raphael felt his heart sink a little.

"Leo, listen, I-"

"I died, didn't I?" Leo's voice was softer now, looking back up to meet his brother's gaze. Raph nodded, swallowing down the sudden surge of emotion. Leo frowned a little bit and sighed. "It's all a bit hazy, but I remember... A voice, or, something..." Leo shook his head, but Raph was in shock. _It musta been the same one I heard._ The two stood in silence for a moment as Leo tried to piece everything together and Raph waited to be punished like a little kid.

"Wait," Leo began. Raph listened intently. "If I was the only one who died, why did we both get sent back?" He looked at Raph in absolute confusion, but as the moments of silence passed, his eyes took on more of an accusatory look. "Raph... I _was_ the only one who died, right?"

Umm.

"Yeah, o'course." Raph shrugged. "I dunno why we both got sent back. Maybe it's 'cause I'm the one who stabbed ya, or somethin..."

_Please fall for it, fall for it, fall for it..._

Leo nodded. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense..." Even as he agreed, though, Leo's eyes betrayed him. Raph knew he probably wouldn't buy his story forever, but how do you tell your big brother that you killed yourself, like...

Like a _coward_?

Raph managed to pull off a more convincing fake yawn this time. "Well, hey, if it's cool with you, I'm gonna get some sleep. And uh... Ya know, you should too."

Leo nodded again. "Yeah, alright. Get some rest, bro." He turned to leave just as Raph got situated in his hammock.

"Leo, wait."

Leo raised a brow and looked over his shoulder, Raph's doorknob already clutched in his hand. He waited for Raphael's hesitant words.

"About what happened, I... I just wanted to say I'm..."

A sad smile came upon Leonardo's features. "I already told you I forgave you."

"So... We're all good?"

A long stretch of time passed. There seemed to be a lot of those tonight. Leo stared at and fidgeted with the door handle, and Raph just twiddled his thumbs. Call him crazy, but he'd actually been expecting an easy answer. _Yeah, bro, we're all good. Let's just pretend like it never happened. I love you too, man._

But Raph wouldn't be so lucky. Then again, was he ever?

"Forgiveness does not make everything go away," Leo whispered, still not looking at Raph, whose jaw felt a little slack. "I choose to forgive you, but trust is not so easily earned back... Once lost." Raph felt his stomach churn as Leo quietly shut his door. His first instinct was to feel angry, but what right did he have to feel that way? He _stabbed _Leo. He _killed _his _big brother._

He laid awake for a while just thinking. How was he supposed to fix this? Was this something that could even be fixed?

...yes.

Raph turned onto his side, determination in his features. He was _going _to fix this. He didn't care what it took.

Leo would trust him again.

He promised.


	4. Maybe One Day

_A/N: Hello! :D_

_Okay, so, I wasn't too happy with the last chapter... So I made sure this one was long enough and chock-full of semi-interesting things! _

_Yay!_

_This'll be the last update until Tuesday. I'm not gonna get anything done this weekend and my online class will require my attention on Monday. _

_Boo. :(_

_But anyways, I hope you enjoy! There's a good bit of interaction between Raph and Leo. Please please please read, review, criticize, offer suggestions... Seriously, I'm all ears. :)_

_Thanks to everyone who's reviewed/favorited/followed so far! You da best!_

_-Haley_

* * *

><p><em>Rain. <em>

_Cold rain. _

_Heavy breathing. _

_E__xhaustion. _

_Guilt. _

_Leo. _

_Leo was bleeding. Raph had to get him home, but his legs wouldn't move right. _

_He was too heavy._

_It was all just too heavy._

_Too much._

_Blood dripped from Leo's mouth. "Raph."_

_He was covered in blood._

_Screaming._

_"Raph..."_

_"Raphael!"_

"Raph!"

* * *

><p><em>Bang bang bang.<em>

Raphael groaned and turned his body away from the door, grabbing his pillow and shoving it over his head to try and block out the noise. The intruder wasn't about to give up, though.

_BANG BANG BANG._

"Raphaeeeel! Raaaaphie! Rise and shine, dude! It's time to wake uppppp." Mikey. Of course.

Raph glanced at the alarm clock. _11:00 a.m. _Everyone knew better than to wake the red-banded turtle before dinner was ready-_especially_ Mikey. "Whaddya want, Mike?" Raph growled.

The door swung open to reveal an over-excited Michelangelo. He was grinning from ear to... Well, from one side of his head to the other. "You gotta come downstairs," he began, bouncing on the balls of his feet a little bit. "Leo's back!"

Oh. Right.

Sighing, Raph swung his legs over to one side of the hammock and sat up, stretching his arms and cracking his neck. "Yeah, I know. I saw him when he got home last night."

Disappointment crept into Mikey's features. "Why didn't you wake us up?" Raphael didn't have to look up to feel the puppy-dog-eyes coming. Michelangelo had that look down pat since he was five years old, and it still worked every. Damn. Time.

Well, in most cases.

Raph avoided eye contact and shrugged, standing. "I dunno. Guess you seemed too busy dreaming about birthday parties or somethin." As he walked out of the room, he gave his youngest brother a small noogie that was still rough enough to make Mikey cringe and swat Raph's hand away. "Then you _definitely_ shoulda woken me up, Dude," Michelangelo grinned. "Every dream I have about birthday parties is a _nightmare_."

Raphael allowed himself to chuckle as he moved to peek over the balcony. There, in the middle of the living room, Donatello and Leonardo were caught in an embrace. Raph could only see Leo's face, but the oldest brother seemed a bit more... Emotional than the first time he'd come home.

_He probably didn't think he was gonna see Don and Mike again, after our fight,_ he thought sickly.

As Raph watched the two separate and saw the happiness in Leonardo's eyes, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He wasn't sure which one he was actually jealous of, or why he even felt this way, for that matter. He just... Did.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice the two were now looking up at him.

"Oh, hey, Raph. Nice to see you up and about while the sun's still out," Donatello smirked sarcastically. Raph frowned in annoyance, mumbling something along the lines of, "Yeah, yeah," as he jumped downstairs and pushed past the two turtles on his way to the kitchen. He felt the looks of disapproval but didn't give them the satisfaction of looking back. He just wanted to eat something. Maybe drink a beer or two.

What time was it again?

Raphael was rummaging through the refrigerator when he heard his sensei's voice. "Ah. It is good to see my family whole and together again."

"Can you believe it, Master Splinter," Mikey was gushing, crushing Leo's midsection in his arms; Leo, whose arms were above his head as though he'd been caught by the police. "I thought he'd NEVER make it back."

"I almost believed that you'd forgotten how to get home," Donnie confessed. "Or that you... You know..."

There was a long pause between the group, but Raph only paid mind to it for a moment, swallowing at the gruesome images of Leo from his nightmare. A soda can in one hand and a box of cereal in his arm, Raph noisily closed the refrigerator door and stood, looking around for an empty bowl. It was then that he noticed Donatello's glare.

"What?" He challenged. Don just rolled his eyes as a reply.

_Sheesh. Wonder if I can _breathe_ today without pissin somebody off._

Prying himself free of Michelangelo's iron hold, Leonardo continued the conversation. Raphael listened from the counter as he poured his cereal. "I know I was gone a long time, guys. I just... I didn't feel like I was the great leader that I was supposed to be yet."

"Would it have killed you to pick up a piece of paper and a pen, though?" Mikey's professional puppy dog eyes were back. Good. Leo deserved them.

Raph risked a glance up to see Leo looking helpless. "No... It wouldn't have," Leo admitted quietly. "I was trying to become a better leader and instead just became more self-absorbed."

The admission of guilt actually surprised Raphael.

_"I let my pride b-blind me to what was r-right in front of me..."_

Raph made eye contact with Leo, and even though it was only held for a moment, a thousand words and emotions went flying between them. "I'm sorry," Leo said, looking back to the others.

Donnie held out a hand for a handshake, which Leo took. "All's forgiven." Donnie's smile didn't really reach his eyes, but his words were genuine. Leo returned the smile before a hand clapped him hard on the back. "Yeah, bro," Mikey's uber-cheerfulness broke through all the emotion. "We're just glad you're okay."

"Thanks, guys." At this point, Raph began eating his cereal and tuned out the conversation coming from the living room. Every now and then he'd pick up bits of information about Leo's time in the jungle; about how pretty it was, how much better all the food tasted... Yadda, yadda, yadda.

He finished eating as quickly as possible so that he could disappear into the dojo and do some damage on the punching bag. As much as he wanted Leo's trust and all that crap, he still didn't want to hear Leo gloat.

* * *

><p><em>Thud. Thud.<em>

_Fwap._

Raphael was pouring sweat. He was so focused on what he was doing he almost didn't notice Leonardo standing in the doorway... Almost.

"You're gonna over-work yourself. You've been at this for hours."

_Thud. Thud. _"What time is it?"

There was a pause as Leo checked his shell cell. "5:00 p.m."

Woah. That was enough to make Raph stop and look over his shoulder. "Wait, really?"

Leo nodded, gaze focused as he studied his younger brother. "You feeling alright?" Raph nodded, swaggering over to the towel rack to wipe his face off. "Yeah, I feel fine. Pretty good, actually."

Leo nodded once. "Good. We'll be leaving in one hour for a run." He turned to leave, but Raphael's voice stopped him.

"Wait, wait, wait. What for?"

Leo sighed and turned back, shrugging his shoulders tiredly. "I promised Splinter that I'd get this team in shape again."

The sentence rang familiar in the brothers' minds, and they both paused awkwardly. A long moment passed before Leo shook it off. "Anyway," he continued, "I figured we'd go back to that construction site and see what happened to that monster that disappeared."

"Actually, that sounds good," Raph agreed, the gears in his mind turning at all the possibilities. "We could take it down again, without destroying the building, and then get rid of it before those stone goons get it-"

"Woah, woah, slow down," Leo interrupted. "We didn't 'take it down' the first time around, remember? We got a pile of concrete dropped on our heads."

"I'm just sayin, now that we know what we're up against-"

"I don't think it's a good idea." If Leo kept interrupting him, Raph might lose what patience he had left. Leo didn't seem fazed by the glare Raph shot him. "Splinter told us not to fight. Besides, where the shell are we going to put a two-ton-abominable monster?"

"That's not the point! If we get rid of it before-"

"I say we let them take it, follow them, and see what they're up to."

That's it. "Why the shell won't you listen to me?!" Raphael exploded.

Leo just sent back a calm, even, but stern gaze that showed major control, but also annoyance. "Because _you're_ not the one who got yelled at the first time this happened." There was a pause and then Raphael heard Leo mutter under his breath, "Even though it _was_ your fault..."

Raph threw his hands up. "Yeah, Leo, it was my fault. _Everything _is _my fault._"

"You know what? Maybe you should stay home. Donnie, Mikey, and I can handle this."

"Oh, why? Because you don't trust me?"

Bam.

Raphael had hit it right on the mark, and as soon as the words had come out of his mouth, he'd remembered what Leo said to him the night before: _"Trust is not so easily earned back... Once lost."_ He smirked sarcastically at Leo's unchanging gaze. "Oh, right. I almost forgot..."

Leo frowned slightly. "Look, if you want to come with us, you have to promise to do everything I say." There was no answer from Raph, who wasn't too keen on the idea of letting his annoying big brother be the boss. "...Raph?"

"Yeah, fine. Whatever."

"Thank you." Leo turned to leave again, pausing only to say, "See you in an hour," before he disappeared into the hallway.

Raphael gave one more really hard, really loud punch to the punching bag.

_THUD._


	5. We'll See it Again

_A/N: I. Am the worst. Updater. EVER._

_Just kidding, it's only been two weeks. But still! This chapter was a hard one to write! And I had a lot going on. And it's 4 in the morning and I'm exhausted so the grammar probably isn't perfect, but I really did try! I couldn't leave y'all hanging any longer. I hope you still enjoy it!_

_Also, I'm not good at writing action scenes... So. Sorry._

_Again. xD_

_Be gentle, but still criticize! Offer suggestions! Still all ears!_

_Thank you to alllllll who have favorited, followed, and reviewed! It really does mean a lot to me!_

_-Haley_

* * *

><p>"Alright, guys, we're going to start off the night with a game of ninja tag."<p>

"Ooh! Ooh!" Mikey cried waving one hand in the air. "I call Donatello!"

Donnie rolled his eyes in response. "Mikey, we're _always _together. You don't have to 'call' me anymore."

"Oh, right," Michelangelo smiled sheepishly, but Leonardo interrupted him. "Actually, Donnie, you and I are going to be together tonight." Don and Mikey blinked in stunned silence. Raphael diverted his gaze a bit, but said nothing.

"...I thought we would try something different," Leo explained further, since nobody seemed to understand. "Besides, pairing up with the same brother every time won't exactly prepare us for diverse situations."

True to form, Michelangelo sighed dramatically. "Fine. But why do I have to get Raph? He's no fun anymore." Raphael growled and shot his youngest brother a glare. Mikey just smiled and held his hands up in surrender. "Chill, bro. I was just teasing."

As soon as Raph had his back turned, though, Mike turned to Donnie, jutting his thumb at Raph over his shoulder. "See what I mean?" He whispered. Raph growled louder this time and turned menacingly with his fist in the air. Michelangelo yelped and flinched, but a strong voice cut through the air. "Enough!"

All four turtles turned and bowed as their sensei entered the living room. He considered them all for a moment before speaking again. "You boys be careful tonight. Strange things are happening around the city. I can feel it."

"Hai, Sensei," Leonardo said obediently. From his bowing position, Raphael sneaked a peek at his big brother. There was a firm resolve in Leo's features, as if he were determined to not make the same mistakes they'd made last time. Raph felt just the tiniest tug of guilt in his chest.

Raph had been an ass. He knew that. Even after he put a friggin sai in his brother's chest, he had still acted like an ass. He really wanted Leo's trust back. He really wanted things to be different. So why did he still feel so angry all the time?

And who was he really angry at?

They all stood straight in a synchronized fashion and made their way towards the door, with Michelangelo already whooping and hollering all the way out. Raph looked over his shoulder at his sensei as he walked. Splinter lifted a couple fingers from where they rested on his cane in a wave, a small smile on his face.

"Good luck, my sons."

* * *

><p>"Damnit, Mike, if you drop me <em>one more time, <em>I swear ta' God-"

"Sorry, dude! But you're heavy as shell!"

Donatello and Leonardo were only a body length ahead of the two when Michelangelo dropped Raphael for-oh, I dunno-the fourth or fifth time. Raph recovered well, though, and started moving again immediately. Mikey shot Raph a look as they ran together. "How much weight have you put on in the last two years, anyway? I know you sleep a lot, but-"

Raph barked out a laugh. "I didn't gain weight in nothin' but muscle. The problem is that you've LOST muscle, wastin' yer time playin' all those damn video games." He gave Mikey a boost up as they hit a wall and then jumped up himself. Donnie and Leo were further ahead now; far enough ahead that Raph knew they would win if he and Mike didn't get their act together.

"Pfft, as if," Michelangelo grinned, running full force. His eyes widened as he saw a large gap between buildings coming. "Uh-oh," he gulped. "We're gonna have to slingshot it!"

"Slingshot _what_?" Mikey may not have been stronger than Raphael, but he was definitely faster. When Raph did see the gap, though, he cursed under his breath and reached for Mike's hand. With all the strength Michelangelo could muster, he grabbed Raph's wrist and used his big brother's momentum to throw him across the open space before using the same momentum to tag along.

"Ya-hooooo!"

"ARGH!" _Crash_.

Mikey landed, again, with no problem. "Hurry up, bro! We can still catch 'em."

Raph, however, had found himself face-first in a pile of boxes-_God knows why they were there in the first place._ Raphael dug himself out and saw Mikey getting ready to scale the next building. He jumped up, a growl in his throat as he set his eyes on his new target: Michelangelo. Mike didn't even see it coming before it was too late.

Raph tackled him onto the ground and the two began to wrestle.

Actually, _Raphael _began to wrestle. Mikey tried to squirm away while a girlish scream ripped itself from his throat.

"You two are just sad," Donatello's voice came from above. Raph and Mikey looked up to see Leo and Donnie leaning against the billboard that had been called the "finish line." The two exchanged a fist bump before Leo spoke with a grin. "Definitely need more practice." Mikey was about to speak up indignantly when a loud roar tore through the air. Raphael felt Mikey flinch, but he and Leonardo just traded knowing gazes. Leo raised a brow and Raph was reminded of his words from earlier.

_"You have to promise to do everything I say..."_

Knowing Leo was waiting for confirmation, Raph gave a curt nod. Instantly, all four brothers were on the move in the direction of the construction site.

Leonardo had timed everything perfectly. He waited to leave the lair until close to the time that they had last seen the monster, and then he had them run for an extra 30 minutes to give the foot ninja a head start in their fight. By time the brothers would arrive, the fight would be close to over, and there would be no chance for anyone to do anything stupid before the monster disappeared.

...hopefully.

* * *

><p>These foot ninja were <em>useless.<em>

Weak. Cowards.

Failures.

Luckily, the monster did not have enough time to get away before Karai pulled her troops from the scene in a retreat. Aguila nodded at his stone siblings from their perch, and as one, they walked coolly and collectedly towards the animal who screamed and growled at them as if it had a chance at escaping captivity.

As expected, the monster went down easily. Too easily. Aguila didn't even feel enough satisfaction at the capture to smirk. After the animal was loaded into the vehicle, the truck drove off towards Winters' Tower, and the generals went off to find their next victim.

From the shadows, four figures followed their every move.

It did not go unnoticed.

* * *

><p>"Should we do something," Donnie inquired as the large, dog-monkey-looking thing was loaded into the armed van. Raphael was the first to answer, "No."<p>

Everyone, including Leonardo, blinked at him in surprise. It was usually Leo's job to stop the fight before it began, and it was usually Raphael's job to jump into the fight all trigger-happy in spite of Leo's efforts. Raph surprised himself, too, honestly, but the strange looks he received from his brothers were getting on his nerves. "What," he growled. "It's not our fight. Right?" He locked gazes with Leonardo who nodded once with a look of approval in his eyes that warmed Raph to the core... Even though he would never admit it. "Right."

Suddenly the truck began to pull away, breaking the moment. "C'mon," Leo said, leading the clan across some rooftops in an attempt to follow the van. Michelangelo was so focused (for once) on following that he almost didn't notice that the rooftops ended.

"Wait," Donnie said, throwing his arm across Mikey's chest to keep him from falling. Mike gasped in surprise and then took a deep breath. "Thanks," he said sheepishly. Donatello shook his head, but smiled. Raphael and Leonardo came and stood beside them as they all looked at Winters' Tower.

"Woah," Michelangelo breathed as he took in how big the place was. "What do we do now?"

Leo thought for a moment before he responded. He recalled now how Raphael had been shot before with a dart that had the Winters' logo on it. He had been so angry with Raphael that he hadn't paid much attention to Donatello when he had been talking about it. He frowned slightly. "We need to know what they're doing with the monsters... And why. For now, we go home, and do some research."

"A wise decision."

The turtles spun around with weapons at the ready. There stood in the unliving, stoney flesh the second largest general with glowing red eyes. It narrowed its gaze at the brothers thoughtfully. "Strange... You are not human, and yet you clearly did not come from _our_ world."

There was a long, awkward pause before Michelangelo broke the silence. "Ooooookay..."

"Unfortunately, you are of no use to me, and you have seen too much." The statue drew its weapon and positioned itself in a battle stance. "I am going to have to dispose of you myself."

"Well, it's four against one... That's a good thing, right?" Always the optimist, Mikey. And, always the realist, Donnie was quick to burst his bubble. "It appears to be made completely out of stone, so... Numbers may mean nothing here."

"We got this." _There's _the trigger-happy Raphael that everybody knows and loves. "Let's go!"

And for once, Leonardo did not argue.

Raphael charged, but the large stone general threw him into the nearest wall as if he were a rag doll. He was definitely hurt-he heard a crack somewhere-but still conscious. Michelangelo was not so resilient. The statue grabbed his ankle as he went in for a kick, lifted him up high, and then slammed him down. His head hit the ground and he was out instantly.

"Mikey!" Donatello's voice rang out. Raph saw Mike go down and suddenly felt the pain drain away and be replaced with anger and adrenaline. The general was about to deliver the final blow, but Leonardo moved quickly enough to block the attack with his swords while Donnie moved Mikey out of the way. Raph jumped back into the fray, but with one brother already down, Raph knew they probably didn't stand a decent chance. He and Leo exchanged quick glances and he knew that his big brother was thinking the same thing. He saw something else in Leo's eyes, too. Anger. Leo was angry at the general for hurting his youngest brother, obviously, but it was more than that.

...no time to think about it now.

Don was back in the fight, but not for long. The general shoved Leo and Raph away and turned to Donatello when he tried to attack from behind. The general grabbed Donnie's wrist and twisted... Twisted... Twisted...

Don screamed.

Snap...

Snap...

Snap...

_Shing._

Leo's blades went through the general's chest. Unfortunately, they didn't come out quite as easily. His eyes widened in shock as he realized how stupid he had been, letting his anger take control of him, but the statue turned its attention from Donatello to Leonardo, so Leo still got what he wanted, but he couldn't defend himself as his opponent's blade rose up and quickly came down.

"Leo, no," Don shouted in horror.

Raph moved faster than he had ever moved before.

All he knew next was the white hot pain in his shell, the look of terror and fury on Leo's face, and a vague shrieking in the background.

Then everything faded.

* * *

><p><em>Oh, God, Raph...<em>

Leo didn't have time to react before something came flying up from the alleyway to the side. It was a creature that looked like a gargoyle come to life, and it let out a terrible shriek as it set its gaze on the general. Luckily, the creature got the attention it wanted, and Leo took the opportunity to move Raphael out of the line of fire. "Don, let's move! NOW!"

Donnie didn't need to be told twice, and with the adrenaline pumping through both of their veins, Leo managed to carry Mikey on his back while Raph was carried between his and Don's good side. "Stay awake, Raphael. Do you hear me?" Though Leo's voice was full of "I'm the leader and you're going to listen to me" authority, all he got in response was a moan of pain, and he wasn't even sure that it actually came from Raphael. It may have been Donatello.

"You alright, Don?" He called.

"Yeah. Sure," Don replied sarcastically but shakily. The sound of battle faded behind them the further they moved away, though they still moved very slowly. "Broken fingers... Broken wrist... Should be fine in a month or two. It's Raph we have to worry about-"

"_Get down_," Leo whispered harshly. Quickly, they hid themselves behind the nearest wall. Don had been too busy talking to notice the silence.

There were footsteps. Apparently the general had dispatched the other monster quicker than expected.

They sat there as silently as possible as the stone giant walked across the rooftop searching for them. After a long time, he seemed to give up and disappear. Still, they waited a little while longer to be safe. They couldn't risk being spotted or they'd never make it home.

Or anywhere else ever again.

Leo glanced around. "I think we're good," he whispered. Once they were sure they were alone, they struggled to scale down the nearest fire escape and somehow made it down to the alleyway where a manhole cover would be waiting for them.

_In retrospect_, Leo thought with a sick feeling to his stomach, _it probably would have been better to just fight the damn monster ourselves._


	6. But For Now

_A/N: Hi guys!_

_So this chapter we're going to see a bit of an emotional Raphael... And Splinter will piece some things together. Thank you all for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following! It means a lot. :) If you have any questions, concerns, suggestions, or constructive criticisms, please let me know! I'm all ears!_

_Enjoy!_

_-Haley_

* * *

><p>April and Casey were pretty much the greatest friends a turtle could ever ask for.<p>

That's what Leonardo silently decided as he listened to Donatello finish up a conversation on the phone with April. They realized, once they made it into the alley, that there would be no way to make it down the manhole and into the sewers without hurting themselves further. They needed help.

Thats where Casey and April would come in.

"We're in the alley off of 4th street... The northern side... Yeah, by the electronics shop." Donnie and Leo exchanged quick looks as April's muffled, worried voice could be heard rambling about... Something. It was hard to hear from where Leo was sitting.

Don sat with his bad arm cradled in his lap. Raphael laid on his belly beside him so that the wound in his shell was exposed, and Don was able to use his good hand to examine the wound while he cradled the shell cell between his ear and shoulder. The adrenaline from the fight would be wearing off soon, which means that the full amount of pain from Donnie's broken arm would be coming back any time now. Leo could tell as he watched his brother work that the effects were already starting to kick in.

Meanwhile, Michelangelo was cradled in Leonardo's arms. The wound on the back of Mikey's head was purple, swollen, scratched-up, and bleeding. It was hard to tell how bad off the youngest brother actually was at this point, but it didn't matter. As Leo glanced around and saw all the injuries his plan had caused his little brothers, he couldn't stop the layer of guilt from settling in his stomach.

_This is all my fault._

Leo looked over forlornly at Raphael, who had taken the devastating blow for him. Sure, he had taken it in the shell, but none of them had ever suffered a serious shell injury before. It was enough pain to knock Raph out of commission. What if it was bad? What if-

"I know what you're thinking," Donatello's voice cut into Leonardo's thoughts. Leo looked up at his brother in surprise. He hadn't even noticed Don hang up with April. For the only turtle who was completely unharmed, he sure felt out of it. He had to get it together. "What?"

"This wasn't your fault," Don elaborated. "There was no way you could've known this would happen. You were just doing what you thought was right. Right?"

Leo paused; swallowed. It was true that he really was just doing what he thought was right. However, he was also trying to prove to Raphael that his way was better. He also knew (now) that if they had just fought the monster as they had the first time, they wouldn't be in this bad of shape. Still, Don was right: there was no way Leo could have known this would happen.

"Leo?"

The eldest turtle shook himself out of his thoughts and finally nodded. "Yeah, right." Donatello frowned at him but nodded, seemingly satisfied. Part of Leonardo wanted to fill Don in on what had taken place between he and Raphael, but he knew that this was neither the time nor the place. There was one person he needed to tell, though.

Leo's thoughts were interrupted again when a set of headlights appeared.

* * *

><p>Casey and April carried Raphael's weight between the two of them into the lair. Leo carried Michelangelo, and Donnie followed swiftly behind the crowd. "Careful with his shell," he warned, almost sounding like a mother hen.<p>

"Where should we put them, Don?" Leo grunted. Usually, carrying his little brother wouldn't have been a problem, but it had been an exhausting night, both physically and emotionally.

"Put Mikey on the couch. We need to take Raphael to the infirmary first to make sure we know what we're dealing with."

Leo nodded and did as he was told. He was just getting Michelangelo situated when he heard the sound of his old father'a voice. "Leonardo?"

Leo stood and looked at Splinter. The rat was obviously very confused and concerned at the sight of two of his sons unconscious and injured. "Sensei-"

"I assume there is some sort of explanation for this? You recall that you were forbidden to fight..."

"Hai, Sensei, it's a long story. Please allow me to explain myself."

Splinter studied his son for a moment before nodding. Leonardo seemed tired and afraid. There was much his son had not told him; had not told _anyone._ "Very well." He motioned Leonardo forward and led him into the kitchen. "Come. Let us speak."

And Leonardo told him _everything._

* * *

><p>When Raphael finally awoke, it was to a sharp aching in his shell.<p>

"Good morning, sleeping beauty."

He pried his eyes open and saw a head full of red hair standing over him. "April?" His voice was so scratchy. Why was his voice scratchy?

"Hey," she smiled, moving out of sight for a second. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I got run over by a pick-up truck." Raphael tried to sit up, but he only hurt worse at the movement. She rushed over immediately. "Woah, woah, woah, big guy," she reprimanded, placing her hands on his shoulders and pushing him back down gently. "You need to rest. You were hurt pretty badly last night."

"Last night? Wha..." Suddenly, it all came rushing back to him: the ninja tag, the construction site, Winters' Tower, the big statue guy...

"I should probably go let Donatello know that you're awake. You had us worried for a little bit there," she smiled tiredly, already moving towards the door. "How long I been out?" Raph called, strength already creeping back into his voice. April took a second to count in her head. "About... 10 hours? Give or take?" Raph nodded. Not that bad, then.

April jumped a little as she opened the door to find Splinter standing there, paw ready to knock. She raised a hand to her chest. "Oh! Master Splinter, you scared me."

Splinter just smiled in amusement. "My apologies, Miss O'Neil. Is Raphael awake?"

April nodded and stepped out of the way. "He sure is. You came just in time." She turned. "Raph, Splinter's here to see you."

Raph looked over to see his Sensei enter the room. April disappeared, leaving the two alone. The red banded turtle wasn't sure what he had been expecting Splinter to say or do, but this wasn't it. For the longest time, Splinter just stood there, staring at him. Raph raised an eyebrow. "Everything alright, Masta Splinta?"

Finally, Splinter sighed and moved forward to sit beside Raphael on the cot. Raph made as much room for him as he could, but it was hard when he could barely move. "I am afraid we have much to discuss, my son."

Raphael raised an eyebrow, but he felt his stomach drop even before Splinter spoke again.

"Leonardo told me what happened that night on the rooftop. I want the truth, Raphael."

There was a long, awkward pause as Raphael twiddled his thumbs. "Whaddya wanna know?" The question came out as a whisper, but Splinter never wavered.

"Your brother said that he passed away in the sewers. After that, he was visited by a presence that offered to send him back in time so that he could fix things between the two of you. Were you also visited by this presence?"

"...yeah..."

Splinter raised an eyebrow. "Would that not mean that you, too, had passed away?"

The silence was answer enough.

"Raphael," Splinter warned. "The truth. Now."

Raph swallowed down the emotion at the memories that now invaded his mind. "I... I couldn't go home, Sensei. I couldn't face you guys afta what I had done. I thought about running away, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything, so..."

"So you took your own life?"

Raphael clenched his jaw to keep his bottom lip from trembling. He nodded. Splinter took a deep, long, shaky breath... But it wasn't enough to keep the fury out of his voice. "And what, exactly, would _that_ have solved?"

"Leo's death woulda been avenged and you'd neva have to see my face again!"

_Slap._

Raph blinked in shock, raising a hand to his cheek.

"How _dare _you speak to me in such a way! Have I not always been a loving father? Have I ever given you reason to believe that I would want that fate for you? For _any one _of my sons?"

"No, but-"

"Then _explain _yourself!"

"I was _scared!_" Raphael finally exploded, voice cracking. Again, Splinter did not waver. "I was _ashamed_ of myself! It's always been my job to protect the family and I screwed up big time! What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to return home and take responsibility for your actions as you promised Leonardo you would!" Angry tears poured down Raph's cheeks. Splinter just didn't understand. He wasn't there. He didn't feel what Raph felt; didn't see the things Raph saw-

"So? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Raphael crossed his arms, stubbornness kicking in even when there was no room for him to be stubborn. No answer. "Raphael!"

"I'm _sorry!_ Alright?!" Raph broke. Sobs ripped from his chest and he didn't even try to stop them. "I was _wrong. _Are ya happy now? Was me hating myself not enough for you? 'Cause I did. I _hated_ myself. I still do. Every time I close my eyes all I see is my sai stickin' out of his chest. I'll neva forgive myself for what I did to him. I'll neva forgive myself for not 'fulfilling his final wish' or whateva. I was a coward. Hell, I'm _still _a coward, 'cause I can't even look him in the eye anymore! I'm just... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Masta Splinta."

The old rat gathered his son into his arms and said nothing for a long while. He let Raphael be vulnerable; something his son hadn't allowed himself to be in years. Splinter stroked the back of his son's head with his thumb like he did when Raph was small. Raph, in return, just clung onto his father and prayed no one was secretly listening in, because this was embarrassing.

There was no telling how long they sat there, but when they finally broke apart, Splinter's voice took on a gentler tone. "Oh, my son. I cannot imagine the pain you must have felt." Raph sniffled and wiped at his eyes, but said nothing. "However, true healing cannot begin until you tell Leonardo the truth."

Raphael sighed. He should have known that was coming. "I dunno if I can."

"You can and you must." The slightest bit of sternness came back to Splinter's voice. Raph looked up. "He deserves to hear the truth, and he deserves to hear it from you."

Raphael pondered that for a moment. He knew that Splinter was right, he just... Didn't know how to tell Leo. Or when.

_Knock knock knock._

Donatello pushed the door open slightly. "Master Splinter? Michelangelo's awake." Raph and Don made eye contact and Don smiled slightly. "Glad to see you're up."

Raph nodded and looked at Master Splinter. "Can I go see Mikey? I wanna make sure he's okay."

Splinter nodded. "Of course. Donatello, help me escort your brother to the living room, please."

Donnie nodded, but he looked uncertain about whether Raph should be moving. Still, he moved to Raphael's left side and slipped his good arm around him, giving him a little squeeze. "Listen, Raph, I'm sorry for giving you crap all the time. This whole thing really shook me up, and I..."

"Ah, don't worry about it, Donnie," Raph sighed, patting Don on the shoulder. "And don't go all soft on me either."

Don rolled his eyes, but he hadn't expected any other response, so he smiled. After a few wobbly steps, the three of them pushed through the door and were able to see April sitting with Mikey on the couch.

"Hey, did any of you get the plates of that thing that hit us last night? Oy, my head..."


	7. The Light Must Hide

A/N:

..._-peeks head from around a corner- Hiiii...__  
><em>

_I am so, SO sorry for the three and a half week break. But with school starting back, getting engaged (YAY!), starting the wedding planning process, and then having a giant family blow out (yeah, not fun -_-) I haven't had the time or the peace of mind to just sit down and write. But I had the chance today (happy Labor Day, everyone!) so I decided to take it. It's not quite as long, but it covers what needs to be covered right now. I hope Raph's enjoyed the last few days of psychological peace, because it's all about to go down the toilet._

_Surviving suicide messes with you, man._

_So anyways, enjoy! I'll try not to take as long next time. :)_

_- Haley_

* * *

><p>The rest of the day and the day after that were pretty much the most relaxing days Raphael had had in a while.<p>

Around this time the first time around, Raphael would have been storming out of his Sensei's room and heading out to find Casey to tell him about the huge, freaky statues that he and his brothers had seen the night before. But since April and Casey were there to help him and his brothers after they got injured, they found out anyway. April retold her story of Yaotl: the guy from 3000 years ago who set the monsters free and turned his siblings into stone. Raph and Leo simply made eye contact while the rest of the group listened intently, hanging on her story by every word. It was easier for Raph to pay attention this time, though. Last time, the drugs were still draining from his system.

It was around 1:30 in the morning. Splinter had been asleep in his room for hours. Raph was sitting in the recliner, his shell and chest covered by a large bandage, while Michelangelo laid on the couch, Donatello worked on his computer in the corner (using only his good hand), and Leonardo ran around all mother-hen and annoying-like to make sure everybody was okay. Casey had passed out in the other recliner and April was sitting on the floor with her back against the couch when she suddenly let out a very large yawn.

Leo being Leo, immediately went to her side and put a hand on her shoulder. "Ape, it's late. You and Casey have been more than enough help, but you guys need rest too. Why don't you head on home?"

April looked at him with bleary, skeptical eyes. "Are you sure?" Her voice cracked. "We could go sleep in one of your rooms so we can stay close by."

"Hey, I don't want no bozo sleepin' in my room," Raph interrupted, jutting a thumb toward Casey. Right on cue, the acclaimed "bozo" snored as loudly and obnoxiously as humanly possible. Raph smirked and went back to watching the end of Rocky III, but he could practically hear Leo smile as his big brother patted April on the back. "We're sure. You can stop by tomorrow if it makes you feel better."

April finally nodded. The girl could barely keep her eyes open anymore. She sluggishly got up and shook Casey. "Casey... Case."

Casey jumped like she had shocked him, but April wasn't fazed by the sudden movement. "What? Was' goin' on? Did I miss somethin'?"

"No, we're just going home. You're driving." April tossed him the keys and waved as she and her cave man left. "Night, guys."

"Night, April," three voices rang out: Donnie's, Leo's, and Raph's. Mikey was passed out.

"Don, I think you should get some rest, too," Raph heard Leo say from behind. "You haven't slept at all since we got home."

"I know, but I just have a little more work to do," Don replied, his three fingers moving quickly across the keyboard. "If I can just hack into the Winters' database, I might be able to access all of his files, security systems, email histories-"

"I think that can wait until morning, Donatello," Leo said patiently. Donnie sighed, knowing he wasn't going to win this battle. "Fine. Just make sure nobody touches he computer."

"Wouldn't dream of it." There was the scuffling and mumbling from a certain purple banded genius as he made his way upstairs and into his room, but as soon as the door clicked, Raph could just picture Don collapsing onto his bed.

The credits for Rocky began to roll just as Leo plopped down in the recliner where Casey had been sitting. Raphael raised an eyebrow at his big brother. "What, you're not gonna make me go to bed too?"

Leo just shook his head, eyes remaining on the screen. "Nah, not yet." Raph rolled his eyes, but smirked a little. Leo looked down at his hands. "Actually, there was, uh... Something I wanted to talk to you about." Raph immediately tensed.

Oh God.

Did Leo know Raphael killed himself?

Raph didn't think Master Splinter would squeal on him, especially after making such a big deal about how Raph should tell Leonardo himself. So then what was this about?

Turning to get a good look at Leo, Raph saw that the oldest turtle actually looked pretty nervous. He was literally twiddling his thumbs. Who does that?

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I guess," Leo admitted. Raph blinked. Leo just continued, "I know I apologized back in the tunnel that night for...everything, but I really am sorry for coming down on you all the time." Raph shifted uncomfortably. He hated these kinds of talks.

"And...I'm sorry for last night," Leo sighed, rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and index finger briefly. Raphael couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. So _that's _what this was about. "This was all my fault. If we had just done what we had done before, none of you would've gotten hurt."

"Woah, woah, woah," Raph interrupted, squinting his eyes. "It's not like you knew what was gonna happen. None of us did. Would we have been better off doin' it like before? Sure. But we weren't gonna know unless we tried. Right?"

Leo sighed again. "Yeah, I guess."

Raphael watched him for a moment longer, an inner battle waging inside himself. Should he just tell Leo about the suicide? Now was as good a chance as he was ever gonna get. "Listen, Leo, since we're, uh...apologizin' and all, I just wanted to say-"

"You have nothing to apologize for," Leo smirked sadly, shaking his head. "And even if you did, you took a killing blow for me, Raphael. If that doesn't say 'I'm sorry,' I don't know what does."

"Yeah, but Leo, you don't know everything. I-"

A long, obnoxious, mood-killing groan came from Michelangelo. Of course. Leave it to Mike to ruin Raph's perfect chance to fix things with his brother for good.

Mikey ended up just turning over and goimg right back to sleep. Raph and Leo looked at each other, frozen, before breaking out into grins and chuckling quietly. Raph had to admit it was nice. When's the last time they had just been able to breathe without pissing each other off, much less laugh together?

"Listen, Raph," Leo said, getting Raphael's attention once more. "Whatever it is, let's just forget it ever happened, alright?"

Raph paused for a long moment. This wouldn't be the end of this conversation; not by a long shot. But maybe tonight just wasn't the best time. Besides, how could he wipe that stupid, sappy smile off his brother's face?

"Yeah, alright."

Leo nodded once and then stood. "Good. Now let's get you in bed."

Raph groaned but didn't argue as Leo came over and helped him up. Then the big brother put an arm around his younger and helped him up the stairs.

And the whole time, all Raphael could think was, how the hell am I supposed to do this now?


	8. Until the Day

A/N:

_Hi... Please don't hate me._

_I'm not even sure how long it's been since I updated, but I'm pretty sure it's been less than a month, so... That's ok, right?_

_I know, I'm sorry. Bad author. Bad, bad author. _

_Well, to make it up to you, I'm writing you a juicy chapter! Yay!_

_Forgive me now?_

_..._

_Baby steps._

_Enjoy! :)_

_- Haley_

* * *

><p>Blood. Rain. It was everywhere.<p>

God, it was everywhere.

Leo. Leo's dead.

Never coming back.

Brothers. Brothers are coming.

Have to get out. Have to run.

Can't run.

Another way...

Pain. Pain in his chest.

Relief.

Coward.

Raphael is a coward.

Raphael...

_Raph..._

_Raphael!_

* * *

><p>"His heart rate is off the charts!"<p>

"Hold his arms and legs. He's gonna hurt himself if he keeps thrashing around like that!"

"Raph-R-Raph, can you hear me? Open your eyes, bro, it's not real..."

"Come back to us, Raphael. Open your eyes."

There were too many voices. His head pounded so badly that he _dreaded _opening his eyes. When he did, it took a bit for him to focus properly. All he could see were three green blobs standing directly above him.

"I think it's working."

"Thank God."

"Raph? Jesus, dude, what the shell was that?"

"Michelangelo!" _Thwap._

"Ouch! Sorry, Sensei..."

Raph groaned. He didn't realize the pressure on his limbs was even there until it was gone and he could move freely...not that he could really do much. He attempted to sit up and immediately felt somebody come to his aid, who he tried to swat away. Probably Leo. Always the mother hen.

Little by little, he was able to see a bit more. Leo was closest to him, kneeling by the right side of his bed. Mikey was sitting on the left side, but was closer to Donatello, who was standing at the end, cast on his arm. Master Splinter stood by the door at a safe distance. They all looked concerned, to say the least.

"Ugh... Do I wanna know what happened?"

"We were hoping you could tell us," Leo supplied. Raph narrowed his gaze in confusion.

"You were having a nightmare. One that was... Abnormally intense." Donnie, playing doctor. "Do you remember what it was about?"

Blood. Rain.

Shudder.

"Uh...nah. Bits and pieces," Raph lied, shaking his head. It wasn't until now that he noticed Don held a book in his good hand. The purple banded turtle flipped through the pages restlessly, as if searching for something.

"Have you had nightmares a lot lately?"

"Why're you askin me all this? I'm not sick, Donnie, I just had a bad dream. Don't act like you've neva had one before," Raph growled in annoyance. Don returned the glare and snapped the book shut. "The fact is that whatever's going on with you is jeapordizing your shell's healing process."

"'Going on with me?' Nothin's 'going on!'"

This time Leo spoke. His voice was much gentler than Don's. "Raph, Michelangelo has heard you scream in your sleep at least once a night ever since I... Came back from Central America." Leo and Raph locked gazes, and Raph knew what Leo really meant. This had happened every night since the rooftop/tunnel incident.

"It's true, dude," Mikey cut in, interrupting Raphael's thoughts. Raph turned to look at him. "It's kinda freaked me out, to be honest."

Raph let his gaze drift to Master Splinter, who just watched him knowingly. The older rat raised an eyebrow at Raph in suggestion, and Raph knew exactly what he was suggesting. He quickly looked away, down at his sheets.

Leo nudged him slightly. "Hey. You alright?"

"Yeah," Raph lied. Again. "Just hurtin."

"Well I'm gonna need to look you over, now that you're conscious and semi-cooperative." Don put the book down and began hooking Raphael up to machines. It was then that Raphael realized that he wasn't even in his room. He was in Donnie's infirmary, laying on the cot. Must have been a pretty bad scene for them to move him down here.

"Guys, if you don't mind, I'm gonna need you to give us some space."

"Of course, my son," Splinter said, ushering Leonardo and Michelngelo out. "We will return to check on Raphael when you are finished."

Once everyone left, Donnie remained surprisingly quiet. Raph watched him out of the corner of his eye, but said nothing. He liked the silence. Not much of a talker anyway.

About 15 minutes passed before Don said anything. "Everything seems fine," he informed. "You were lucky. The way you were thrashing... I thought for sure you had hurt yourself further."

"Thrashing, huh?"

Don sighed and pulled a chair next to the cot, sitting in it backwards with his good arm folded over the back. "Yeah." He watched his big brother for a moment, expression melting into one of concern. "Raph, what was your nightmare about? I can't help you if I don't know everything."

He was met with silence. Raph wanted to tell him, of course, but how could he when he hadn't even told Leo yet? As expected, Donatello shook his head and gave up, standing and putting the chair back where he found it. Great. Now the nerd's feelings were hurt. "Don, wait."

Donnie paused, looking at Raph skeptically. Raph chose his next words carefully.

"I did something bad. Really bad. That's what my nightmares have been about." There was a moment of silence, and just as Donnie opened his mouth to say something, Raph spoke again. "I can't tell you what it is. Not yet. I can't... Talk about it. Not now." Raphael fidgeted with his hands. Don's gaze softened.

"Well... It sounds like you may be dealing with a form of PTSD."

Raph blinked. "PDS-what?"

"PTSD," Donatello repeated, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's a mental condition most prominently found in military veterans, but it can affect anyone who has gone through a traumatic, and perhaps even life-threatening, situation. There are a few different forms of it, but if you've been having nightmares, you're probably suffering from the form that involves intrusive memories."

"So, what, I'm... sick in the head?"

Donnie shrugged. "That's a rough way of putting it, but... Yes."

Raph rubbed at his eyes a little bit. "So how do I fix it?"

Don shook his head. "I'm not sure... I'll have to do some research." He paused, looking Raphael up and down for a moment. "But I'd imagine it will probably involve you coming clean and talking about whatever it is you went through."

Raph sighed heavily. "I was afraid you'd say that."

Don huffed a little laugh before heading towards the door. "I'm going to go let the others know you're alright."

"Yeah, okay... Hey, Don."

Donatello stopped, hand on the door knob. He raised his brow at Raphael, and Raph just took in how tired his brother looked. "Just wanted to say thanks... Ya know, for all this."

Donnie smiled and nodded once. "Anytime, bro." He then disappeared out the door and left Raphael with his thoughts.

* * *

><p>Donnie entered the living room and Leo immediately jumped up off the couch. "Is everything alright? Is his shell okay?"<p>

"His shell is fine." Everyone, including Michelangelo and Splinter, who finally made their way over, breathed a sigh of relief. That was the number one concern on everyone's mind. "However," Donnie said, interrupting the moment, "I think we may be dealing with something a bit more serious."

"Clarify, my son."

"I think... I think Raph is suffering from a psychological disorder. It's called PTSD."

"PDS-what?" Mikey asked in confusion. Donnie gave him a strange look before continuing.

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It means Raphael's hiding something from us."

A door opened.

All eyes turned to Raphael, who was standing in the doorway of the infirmary looking uncharacteristically nervous. "Hey, uh... Leo? Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Now, all eyes turned to the eldest turtle, who peered at Raphael with both curiosity and concern. "Of course."

He made his way over and disappeared into the room. Raphael met Master Splinter's supportive gaze before closing the door behind them.


	9. When Things Will Change

A/N:

_Surprise! Quick update! :D The moment we've alllll been waiting for... _

_Dun dun DUN!_

_Anyways, enjoy! Let me know what ya think. :) Love you guys!_

-Haley

* * *

><p>As soon as the door clicked shut behind Raphael, the two brothers were alone. Raph hesitantly turned to face Leonardo, who was watching him with a gaze full of concern. "So, what's up?"<p>

Raph took a deep breath before moving to the cot and sitting at its foot, avoiding eye contact with the eldest turtle at all costs. He fidgeted with the bandages wrapped around his midsection whlie he waited for Leo to get situated, leaning against the wall to Raph's left with his arms crossed.

There was a long, awkward moment of silence before Raphael spoke, his voice coming out low and gravelly. "You rememba how, when we first got back, you asked if I'd heard the voices and I said yes?"

Leo nodded.

"And you asked me if I had died and I said no?"

Another nod.

Raph stared at the ground to his right and very softly, like a whisper, said, "I lied."

Leo raised a brow. "About the voices?"

Raphael shook his head. "No... About the dying part."

Another long moment of silence. Raph didn't dare look up at Leo, for fear of what he might see. He even jumped a little when Leonardo finally moved, crossing the room and grabbing the chair Donnie had used earlier by the back. He dragged it over to the cot so that it was sitting directly in front of Raphael. Raph tensed, watching Leo sit down while still trying to avoid looking in his eyes. It was a difficult task, though, when your big brother's gaze-no longer gentle and concerned, but having a kind of hardness to it-was boring into you. "Tell me everything."

Raph fidgeted a bit more. "Afta you... Ya know... I probably sat there for a couple hours. Don texted us both askin' if we were okay, and that's when it hit me that I..." He paused, voice breaking. He cleared his throat a little (even though it didn't help much) before continuing. "I couldn't go home. I couldn't face them afta what I did to you. I couldn't... So I thought about runnin' away." Raphael could physically feel Leonardo's disapproval at that statement. "But I didn't," he tried to reassure his brother. "I knew that would be wrong... Still, I just couldn't go home, Leo. I couldn't do it. So, I..."

Leo wasn't an idiot. Silently, he knew where this was heading. "You committed suicide." It wasn't a question; it was a statement. A fact. Raph nodded shamefully.

"I put a sai in my chest; same place I stuck it in yours. Figured it would kinda be... Justice, or whateva." Raph shrugged, rubbing at his shoulder subconsciously.

Leo stayed silent; unreadable. Raphael eyed him skeptically. "So?"

Leo blinked at him and shook his head, keeping an even gaze for now. "What?"

"Aren't ya gonna say somethin'?" Raph couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. He had _killed_ himself, for God's sake.

"What do you want me to say?" The eldest turtle's voice took on a softer tone. It may have even had a hint of sadness to it.

"I thought you would be pissed," Raph explained, becoming a bit bolder. "I mean it was basically your dyin' wish that I went home and took responsibility and I flaked out."

"'Flaked out'?" Leo seemed confused.

"Yeah! I took the coward's way out, Leo. I killed myself because I was terrified."

"Terrified of what?"

"Of..." Wait. "Ya know, of going home, facin' everybody."

Leo folded his hands together, leaning forward so that his elbows were resting on his knees. "Is that _really _why you did it?"

Oh, no. He was _not _gonna turn this around on Raph. Not today. "Of course it was! Why else would I have done it?"

Leonardo shook his head, looking at the ground. "I don't know," he said resignedly. "I guess I just figured it would take more than fear to make Raphael kill himself."

Raph blinked indignantly. "I had just _killed_ my _brother,_ Leo. It was a little more than just fear."

"Then what else was it?"

Raphael shook his head, already knowing where this was heading. "I don't need this." He stood and tried to get to the door, but Leo stepped in his way.

"No, Raph." Leonardo's voice took on leader-tone again. "We're going to talk about this."

"We already did," Raph growled. "I told you what happened. That's all I gotta say."

"It's not that simple and you know it."

"What I _know_ is that you're gettin' on my last nerve, Leo." Raph bumped past his brother and put his hand on the door knob. Leo rolled his eyes in frustration and let out a growled sigh.

"Why won't you just let me in, Raph? What was the point of pulling me in here if you didn't want to talk?"

Raph stopped dead in his tracks. What _had_ he been expecting out of this talk? Some kind of closure, that's for sure. He wasn't going to get it if he just walked out now.

_...damn it._

Raph let his hand drop and turned around. Leo looked relieved, along with still being a little frustrated.

"You know I'm not good with... All this." Raphael waved his hands around, gesturing at the emotions lingering between them. Leo nodded. "I know. Just... Try."

Raph nodded in defeat and went to sit back down, rubbing at his eyes. Leo also took back his spot in the chair, waiting; allowing Raph to talk when he was ready.

"I was more than just scared," Raph began quietly. "I was angry and ashamed of myself for what I did to ya. I guess I felt like I deserved it." The admission surprised even Raphael. It was an obvious concept, and yet he hadn't consciously realized it until then.

Regardless, it caused Leo to swallow and shift a little in his seat. "You know, I still meant what I said in the sewer. It wasn't just your fault, Raphael. I had been asking for it ever since I stopped replying to your letters in Central America."

Raph's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No, Leo. You were an ass, but you didn't deserve a sai in your chest."

Leo huffed with a sad sort-of smile and locked eyes with his brother. "Still... I'm sorry, Raph. Can you forgive me?"

"If you can forgive me, I think I can manage."

The statement made Leo smile-genuinely, this time-and he nodded. "Yeah, alright." A moment of silence occurred before Leo surprised Raph once more. "C'mere."

Raph didn't have time to respond before Leo stood and pulled Raph into his arms, holding him protectively while also managing to squeeze the life out of him. Raph melted into the embrace, returning it full-force, and they just stayed like that for a few minutes.

"Promise me you'll never hurt yourself again," Leo whispered. Raphael nodded, eyes stinging. "I promise."

Leo tightened his arms in relief and Raph let out the first really contented breath he'd allowed himself so far. Maybe things would be okay after all.


	10. Run and Hide

A/N:

_Hi, people! So guess who has strep throat? ...yep, me. :/ Which sucks cause I have a trip planned for this weekend, but it could be worse! I could have Ebola ;)_

_... Not funny? Yeah, probably not funny._

_Anyway._

_I updated in a week! Huzzah! :D I'm kind of playing the rest of the story by ear, so let's see how this chapter goes..._

_Enjoy!_

_- Haley_

* * *

><p>"So, what are we looking for?"<p>

"Well, according to these star charts, the portal is set to open directly over Winter's Tower in the next 24 hours."

"So the legend is right! 3,000 years..."

"And when the portal opens, we'll lose the city to monsters within hours. Within days, the country. And within weeks...

The world."

* * *

><p>"Careful, Raph. Don't over-work yourself."<p>

Talk about a time crunch. Leonardo vaguely remembered Donatello and April talking about some portal opening before he left to fight with Raphael, but he was too angry to pay much attention.

Now, though? The team of ninjas had less than 24 hours to prepare to save the world. Again.

Which would be fine, if half the team wasn't injured badly enough that they probably wouldn't be able to fight.

Donnie's wrist and arm was still in bad shape, and a Bo staff typically takes both hands to wield. Michelangelo had healed pretty well; although, considering he suffered a head injury, it would be hard to tell the difference between normal Mikey and brain-damaged Mikey.

Raphael, however, was still suffering from a cracked shell. This didn't just hinder his fighting, but his movement in general. Even as Leonardo helped him practice, it was plain to see that Raph would be no use in an actual fight.

Which, of course, made a certain hot-headed turtle very, very frustrated.

Raph growled and threw his sais down on the ground. "Forget it, Leo. It ain't worth the time."

Leo sighed in defeat, moving to pick up his brother's weapons even as Raphael walked away. "We'll figure something out, Raph."

"No, we won't! I'm useless and you know it. I'm just gonna hold you guys back."

"Don't talk about yourself like that," Leo snapped. Raph shut his mouth and swallowed down whatever else he was going to say. Leo instantly back-pedaled. "I'm sorry. It's just..." He didn't have to say it. They both knew.

"I got it," Raph said quietly. "I'm gonna get some air."

Leo nodded. "Yeah, alright."

Raph was walking out when he noticed how guilty Leo looked. So, as a show of coolness, Raph reached over and clapped Leo on the shoulder. It got a smile out of the eldest brother, which is all Raphael could ask for.

Then Raph was gone...

He couldn't have realized that he wouldn't be going home again.

* * *

><p>The rain was expected. After all, it had rained last time Raphael stood on this rooftop.<p>

This time, though, he wasn't in his Night Watcher suit. He wasn't out of breath from being chased all over town. And he was alone.

Flashes of red and the sounds of blades rang in the back of his mind. His head began to pound; a sharp stabbing feeling ached in the front of his brain. Memories upon memories clouded his mind until it was like they were actually happening all over again, right in front of him.

Shadows were dancing. They were everywhere.

He was hallucinating. He had to be hallucinating.

Stab. Stab. Stab.

Kill him.

Kill Leo.

_RAPH!_

...

When Raphael opened his eyes, he was laying on the ground. Had he just passed out? Fainted like a little girl?

Well, at least no one else was there to see it.

Without even thinking, he sat up and pulled out his shell cell to dial a number. "Don? Yeah, it's me. Listen, I think somethin with that PSDT thing just happened." Mumbling. "Yeah, yeah, you know what I meant. I uh... I'm not feelin too hot." A question. "Yeah, that'd be good. Tell Leo I'm on the rooftop. He'll know what I mean... Yeah ok. Thanks." Beep. Raph looked around.

The glowing red sign gave the red-banded turtle an ominous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't tell if it was actual instinct or bad memories, but something felt wrong.

And then-

_Ouch._ A stinging sensation in his right shoulder. Raph barely had time to register that there was a dart in his arm before his whole world went black.

* * *

><p>Leo led his brothers to the rooftop on which he and Raph had their fight... But the second oldest brother was nowhere to be seen.<p>

"I don't understand," Leo muttered. "What other rooftop would he have meant?"

Mikey called Raphael's name over and over again, but there was no answer. Don scoured the area for some kind of hidden clue that would be hard to see, but he couldn't find anything either. Even Leo, who knew that rooftop better than anyone, wasn't having any luck.

"Do you think he started heading home?" The brothers met up again at the center of the building. Don looked at Leo expectantly, awaiting and answer. Leonardo shook his head. "I don't think so. Why would he tell us to come if he didn't plan on meeting us here?"

A moment of helpless silence passed between the group. Was their brother in trouble? Was he hurt somewhere? Or worse?

"I think the only thing we can do is go home and let me track his shell cell, if he still has it on him." Always the thinker, Don. Leo nodded in agreement. "Let's hurry, then."

* * *

><p>"Not human... But clearly not the final monster."<p>

"Yaotl won't know the difference. By time he realizes that this creature is not the thirteenth monster, it'll already be too late."


End file.
